


Normal is a Forbidden Word

by yeojooyeo



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Comfort, M/M, Self-Acceptance, Self-Doubt, Validation, changki, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 09:56:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17826527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeojooyeo/pseuds/yeojooyeo
Summary: Some people might say that they’re living in a fantasy, that the world is black and white. Kihyun and Changkyun would say everything in life is how it’s supposed to be.





	Normal is a Forbidden Word

**Author's Note:**

> We all have our own place in life, and none is less valuable than the other. A product of self venting.

Attraction. An umbrella term in it’s bones, but at its core, it is nothing but what you make of it. The beautiful thing about life, human life, is that there is so much variety at your fingertips, that everyone has their place in it, Changkyun thinks as he reads his book on their couch in the early winter morning. The warm light crinkled through their window, air cold and retreating, that certain scent to the air adding to the atmosphere. It was peaceful, it always was, and his fingers rubbed Kihyun’s toes. The older was lying on the same couch, on the opposite side watching the television, a small subconscious smile on his lips.

 

They were both asexual, Kihyun a bit more adventurous than Changyun was, but they were content with the life they had. Never feeling like going all the way, happy with just being near each other, it was a lifestyle they had accepted a long time ago, ergo not without criticism from the public. Of course, they shared small pecks, signs they cared for each other, but whenever one of them expressed it to others outside their friend circle, they would be met with the usual confusion. _Oh, you just haven’t met the right person,_ or, _have you tried being intimate? Maybe you didn’t have a good experience the first time._ Those words most times came from a good place, but the underlying ignorance stung. That is, until they had moment like this together, not giving society a second thought.

 

“What are you thinking about?” Kihyun asked lightly, wiggling his toes in Changkuns face.

 

The younger sighed  with forced effort and continued his ministrations. The causes Kihyun to giggle, going back to the show he was watching.

 

He and Kihyun met in the spring, at graduation. Changkyun having a bachelor’s in music production and Kihyun in Fine Arts. They had a long conversation over lunch at the cafe near the campus and eventually agreed to collaborate on a song together. Kihyun’s art was gorgeous, a certain floating dream quality to them, but none were a gorgeous as his bright smile, lighting up at all the ideas they came up with. None of his interest ever went with intimacy of the usual kind, just wanting to spend more time with each other. They eventually moved in together, both post graduates looking to save money in the big city. Changkyun got hired at a local entertainment company, and Kihyun by proxy, when the department listened to their album. They both had money and a new life, together against the world.

 

How they fell into each other’s orbit and pull, none knew for certain but Kihyun’s casual touches and close proximity became more and more frequent. He had a certain way of comforting them both, whether it be caressing Changkyun’s face or leaning on him while watching a film in the middle of the night.

 

Changkyun remembers the exact conversation they had about it, his legs tangled with Kihyun’s in the early hour of the morning, the latter unable to sleep because of his lingering thoughts. Changkyun wouldn’t lie and say he didn’t have the same from time to time. Those sticky and dripping thoughts that echoed in your head whenever you watched couples doing pda on the street or in mainstream media.

 

“Do you think how we see life is normal, compared to everyone else?” Kihyun whispered, drawing circles in the bed sheets between them. Changkyun caressed the older’s copper locks from his eyes. They fell like soft waves on a beach in autumn; Changkyun felt the urge to take a photo, just like this.

 

“It depends, but who’s to say it isn’t normal?”

 

“We don’t have sex, we don’t crave intimacy as much as other people because we value the moment more than the experience. I heard those guys behind us yesterday, you know. Saying those things.”

 

They both had a date the day before at the park, trying out that new ice cream cart Kihyun had been eyeing for a while. As they stood there and ate, holding each other’s hands, there was the telltale murmurs of cocky mocking. People are more brave when they know they aren’t being watched it seemed.

 

“They went for the sexual jokes, egging us on. They wanted us to react, prove them right.”

 

Kihyun nodded silently, scooting closer to lightly kiss Changkyun’s lips. No low burn, only a feeling; the feeling that this was where he wanted to be. This was right.

 

“You know I love you, yeah?” was whispered into the blonde’s ear, fingers tightening at his t shirt. It wasn’t what people normally thought of as love, but the emotion was as strong as anyone else’s. In today’s society, who’s to say what’s normal and what’s not?

 

Kihyun and Changkyun are their own _normal_. And that’s fine with them; always has been.

 

“Yeah, I do.” Changkyun smiled, holding him closer. “Love you too.”

 

Reliving the memory in his head now, Changkyun laughed to himself, taking a glance back at Kihyun. He had been staring, for how long Changkyun didn’t know, but his eyes were warm, full of affection, that too, wasn’t considered normal. He didn’t care.

 

“You. I’m thinking about you.”

 

A playful frown painted Kihyun’s lips. He sat up, crawling to Changkyun’s side and laying on back to chest. He picked up his phone, taking a quick photo of them both and then opening up the delivery app. Whenever either of them was in a mood, they ordered chicken. Standard protocol. Excitement filled Changkyun’s mind, pointing at more side options. Kihyun scoffed at everything he picked, but ordered most of them.

 

This; this was intimacy for them. Basking in the time and moments they had together. Their relationship wasn’t the usual, some things lying on blurred lines more than solid ones, but this was what they wanted. Love for them didn’t run bed sheets deep, but it did have a comfortable medium. To be so different from everyone else, yet find peace in each other was rare, but they thanked the stars every day for how their paths aligned. This life, as Changkyun took in the smell of Kihyun’s orange blossom perfume that cling to each and every perfect hair on his head, was his normal.

 

Attraction was an umbrella term, and he was under it with Kihyun. Right where they wanted to be.

 


End file.
